Open thoughts from the Rhino
Stupid and Necessary
Published on July 7, 2004 By Red Rhino In Life Journals
Fear is generally a good thing. It keeps you from doing something stupid or risking more than you have to lose. It tells you that you should really think about the chances of your death are high enough given a situation that you should consider another option. Fear can be ignored and pushed through if you deem it necessary to accomplish a task. Without fear there is no courage, at least thats the relationship most war movies make about it. Fear of someone else dying or being hurt can motivate us to put aside the fear we have for ourselves in order to risk our lives to save a loved one or even a complete stranger. So, like I said, fear is generally a good thing. However, sometimes its just too irrational to be of any use. For example....

I've been putting off the walk I've been meaning to do since the day started cooling down. Which of course is when the sun starts to set. For me its somewhat necessary, I live in Arizona and I don't take the heat from the direct sun too well. So anyways, I finally get around to the walk about 9 pm. I haven't been scared of the dark since about the age of 6 (in fact, I perfer to sleep in a pitch black room) and I know the area like the back of my hand. So I didn't think it would be a big deal.

Well, I get maybe 100 yards down the street, and it is nearly pitch black. I live somewhat in a remote area with no street lights, but no hoodlums, crime, or anthing like that either. All of a sudden I start hearing things, and I can readily identify most of the sounds. But one that I could only identify as a possible cooler unit on a house sounded alot like someone walking in the dirt maybe 30 feet behind me. And I know someone wasn't because, like I said, its a remote area so there isn't alot of people around, much less walking down a road at night. And my eyes are adjusted just well enough to see about that far back. Plus, I can make out moving dark shapes rather easily at night (10 years of looking for a black dog in the darkness pays off). So like I said, its stupid fear. I know nobody is there, yet I still get that twinge.

So I'm walking there, getting further and further from my house and things fly through my head. STUPID things. Things that are on late at night on some random cable channel. Things that make you jump as a kid. Moreover, they are things I know don't exist. But none the less they pop into my mind and make me slightly nervous to any weird noises around that I can't quickly identify. When I decide I've gone far enough I turn around (Its one long road, not walking around a block or anything. So I have to turn around at some point). The minute I see the lights from my home in the distance all the fear goes away. Its not like I'm in any less "danger" but just seeing the protective walls of my house makes all those stupid thoughts go away.

I guess what they say is true, you can really fight fear with logic. I have my theories about why it happens, but I won't bore anyone anymore.

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